January 18, 2010

Angels With Filthy Souls, with Ed DeChellis

[THE SCENE: Athletic Director Tim Curley's office. A man is sitting behind a desk, examining the day's newspaper with a magnifying glass. The room itself is in black-and-white.]

Who is it?

[opens door, walks in] It's me, Ed. [whips out resignation papers from his suit jacket] I've got the

Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell out of here.

Alright, Curley...but what about my mon- Hey, who the hell are you?

The name’s Johnny.

Alright, Johnny...where’s Curley? Are you his 'stand-in' or something

Curley ain’t in charge no more.

What do you mean?

He’s upstairs taking a bath..he’ll call ya when he gets out.

But, we’re already upstairs..and since when did we get a bathtub installed in this place?

Ah, forget it. I’ll explain later.

Fine...But what about my money?

What money?

Curley said he had some dough for me. You know, to buy out my contract.

Is that a fact? How much do I owe ya?

I don't know exactly, Curley tends to keep such things on the down-low.

Too bad, Curley ain't in charge no more.

Umm yeah, I know. He's taking a bath upstairs, like you said.

Hey! I tell ya what I’m gonna give you, Ed. [Pulls out tommy gun] I’m gonna give you to the count of ten to get your ugly, losing, no-good, keester off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead!

What the - Put that gun down! Let’s deal with this matter like civilized human beings!


Keep the change, ya filthy animal.

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  1. Is it wrong that I kinda wouldn't mind?

  2. Do you really think that this is it for Ed? I mean, should he get one more season, then pull the plug? I don't know. I'm still a bit torn.

  3. No Devon, it's not wrong. I kinda wouldn't mind watching 'Home Alone' right now myself.

    And Mike, I'll be shocked if Ed does in fact resign after this year. This is presuming though, that PSU wins at least 3 games in the Big Ten.

  4. This is presuming though, that PSU wins at least 3 games in the Big Ten.

    Come on now, let's not set the bar TOO high.

  5. Hey, Michigan did just beat UConn. But I guess that actually makes it worse that PSU had a double-digit lead on UM but couldn't hold on.