January 16, 2010

Iowa Preview: Cripple Fight!!!

Apologies for getting this up so close to game-time (tipoff is at 1 PM ET on BTN). I hope you can understand though, that my desire to write about this cripple fight between the two winless, bottom-feeding teams in the Big Ten only slightly exceeds my desire to catch the weekend premiere of Dear John.

Of course, you're looking for my obligatory prediction: PSU happens to be a 3.5-point favorite but let's face reality here: Nobody wins. And by 'nobody' I mean the BTN, the 500 or so people actually attending the game, and anyone else who tunes in to watch two teams play completely crap-tastic basketball...Actually, I take that back, the good folks at Guantanamo Bay win, because they can use today's game as a method of torture far more effective than waterboarding, and nobody in the mainstream media will throw a shit-fit either*.

* = That's of course, because nobody other than the terrorists and a few sadistic PSU/Iowa fans (i.e. Yours Truly) will be watching

Alright, alright, you want a real prediction? Iowa by one. John Lickliter may be the coach's son, but he's also Iowa's own version of Talor Battle and will pull off such heroics when the ball's in his hands for the final shot. Just watch the YouTube video below and try to convince me otherwise.

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