April 27, 2010

Let's Hold Off On Erecting a Paul Jones Statue For Now, Shall We?

Freshman QB Paul Jones (10) leaps away from trouble... and into Penn State fans' hearts.

Like every true blue-blooded Penn Stater, I immersed myself in Blue-White weekend last Saturday. While I did, in fact, attend the actual game itself, I truthfully don't remember a damn thing about it aside from the TD passes thrown by Paul Jones, which brings me to my gripe: Anyone who proclaims that we're headed for a potential repeat of the dark years if Jones isn't immediately named the starter either haven't watched enough Blue-White games in years past, or are just plain retarded. Yes, unlike Kevin Newsome and Matt McGloin, Jones actually threw touchdown passes and appears to have the best natural throwing arm of the three but let's recap what he was going up against:
  • 3rd string defensive players/towel boys
  • Simplistic defensive schemes with no blitzing allowed
  • An atmosphere that's the polar opposite of what the team will face down in Alabama in four-and-a-half months. We're talking coffeehouse versus a f*cking rock concert here, folks.
By the way, does anyone remember how Newsome and McGloin both looked last year? Allow me to refresh your memory: Both QB's threw for a combined 3 touchdowns against the same caliber of defensive players/schemes that Jones just went up against. Um, yeah, I'm sure you sure were singing their praises back then as well, weren't you? Let's not forget either, Jones' grasp of the playbook is likely nowhere close to McGloin or Newsome's, being that he's only been on the team for a few months. Granted, he does have another four months before the season opener to expand his knowledge and further impress the coaches with his talents, possibly to the point where he could be the designated #2 QB going into the Youngstown State game.

Perhaps if Newsome is an abysmal failure and shows absolutely no hope of improvement midway through the season, Jones might become a viable starting option. Let's not kid ourselves though into thinking that Jones gives us the best chance to win at this point in time, particularly with a green offensive line still trying to find their way. If you're going to go with an inexperienced quarterback playing behind a shaky O-line, you're better off settling for the guy with the quickest feet as they can potentially scramble their way out of trouble (think: Michael Robinson), and Newsome best fits that mold.

Keep in mind I'm not saying that Jones will never become the worthy starter, not by any means. If he's truly worthy of the five-star knighting the Scout.com folks gave him, he may very well become part of a two-QB rotation with Newsome at some point this year, perhaps even securing the starting QB spot in 2011. Of course, this analysis doesn't include the other blue-chip QB recruit, Robert Bolden and what he may bring to the table over the next couple of seasons. Right now though, it would be ridiculous to suggest that based on one solid performance in the Blue-White game that Jones should be handed the starting job without question.

Not that most of you are going to grasp such a concept though...We now return to your regularly scheduled dream sequence of you and Paul riding a white stallion together on a beach.

Good God! That...that's Paul Jones' music!

Some Other Blue-White Observations:

I had the most incredible piece of grilled chicken ever at a friend's tailgate. I don't remember the exact ingredients (I know bourbon was involved in it), but I'll be damned if I didn't have an orgasm in my mouth while chowing down on it. I was tempted to ask somebody for a cigarette and a light after I was done, and I don't even smoke...What's that? You wanted analysis about the game itself? Sorry, but I'm not some beat writer who's being forced to write about a glorified scrimmage that doesn't have any deeper meaning. I tend to think of college football spring games as the Scrotie McBoogerballs of sports.

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  1. I know bourbon was involved in it

    By "it" do you mean the chicken or you? Sounds like the latter if you ask me.

  2. The chicken was bourbon-flavored, Galen. The only liquor I drank at the tailgate was a Peppermint Patty shot.

  3. Peppermint Patty shot?!? I wish you would have just left my gross misconception that you drank bourbon go.

    As for the QB's, the thing that worries me the most is that Newsome had all winter and spring practice to throw with the first string WR's and he looked like he had never tossed a ball to them, ever. And let us not forget that both Newsome and McGloin had there shot at the second string defense and they looked HORRIBLE, I mean they weren't even close. At least Jones throws were right around where they needed to be, even the ones the fell incomplete. Look I'm not saying Jones should be the starter, all I'm saying is why didn't Jones GET a shot with the first teamers? Answer: Paterno.