September 27, 2010

Creepin' the Big Ten: Week 4

While Penn State was collectively ripping the hearts of their fans out before finally putting Temple away, there were other games going on and that's where 'Creepin' the Big Ten' comes in. So how did Michigan do?

As expected 
Michigan 65 - Bowling Green 21
You see?!?! Michigan knows how to blow out an overmatched MAC team, although they did it without the help of their not-so-secret weapon Denard Robinson. On the first play of Michigan's third drive, Robinson was tackled near the sideline after a 47-yard run. He was kept out the rest of the game as a precaution but Michigan didn't need him.
That sound you heard was 100,000 Michigan fans simultaneously shitting their pants on this play. Ann Arbor must smell like an outhouse today. <insert your punch line here>
Michigan rolled up 466 yards rushing and 721 yards of total offense and Robinson and the two backups (Forcier went out with a minor injury as well) completed 88.5 % of their passes. Despite the gaudy numbers Robinson was still the team's leading rusher, Michigan will have to find someone that can carry the ball because Robinson won't be able to run over Big Ten defenses like they've been doing. Oh, Indiana is next? Disregard that last sentence. 
(25) Michigan St 45 - Northern Colorado 7
Staying in the state of Michigan: Sparty was without coach Dantonio who was out of the hospital but back at home watching the game recovering from a mild heart attack. Michigan State made sure they didn't stress Coach D much soaring out to a 35-0 halftime lead before taking the foot off the gas and playing backups in most of the second half. QB Kirk Cousins was a dicing saw completing 16 of his 20 passes for 290 yards, 2 TD's and no picks. Linebacker Greg Jones got the first two interceptions of his career and the Michigan State D beat Northern Colorado into submission only giving up one meaningless garbage touchdown early in the fourth with the game well in hand. Michigan State had over 200 yards rushing which gives them 200 or more for every game so far this season. Now Sparty gets Wisconsin and Michigan so we'll know if they are a real Big Ten Championship contender or not real fast. 
Indiana 35 - Akron 20
Hey don't look now but Indiana is 3-0 thanks to a big day from Hoosier QB Ben Chappell (23 of 33; 342 yards – 4 TD's) and WR Terrance Turner (6 catches, 121 yards, 1 TD). That's the good news, the bad news is Zip QB Patrick Nicely took advantage of a week Hoosier defense and threw 2 TD's and Akron amassed 76 more yards on the ground than Indiana. Thanks for playing along Indiana but your world is about to get D-Robbed. Have fun with that. 
(18) Iowa 45 - Ball St 0
A little hangover from a disappointing loss Iowa? No problem, take one Ball State and call me in the morning. Iowa got the final tune-up it wanted, there were no major injuries, the defense played stellar and the backups got plenty of work. Stanzi was an accurate 19 for 25 for 288 yards 3TD's and no Stanziballs. Adam Robinson pitched in 115 yards on the ground and 2 touchdowns. Yawn.

Was that really necessary? 
11 Wisconsin 70 – Austin Peay 3 
2 Ohio State 73 – E. Michigan 20
Both schools final warm-up before Big Ten play resulted in 1263 yards of offense combined. There were the usual suspects for both teams: John Clay rushed for 118 and Scott Tolzien completed 15 of 17 passes for 217 yards and 3 touchdowns for Wisconsin and TP lead OSU both in passing (224 – 4 TD's) and rushing (104 yards). The difference between these two blowouts was the fact that Wisconsin took the foot off the gas at halftime while Pryor was catching halfback flee-flickers with 3 minutes to play in the 3rd quarter. Stay classy Jim Tressel, stay classy.

Point and laugh 
Northwestern 30 - Cent Michigan 25
Like Penn State Northwestern took on a MAC opponent and struggled. This was a roller coaster ride of a game, the kind we are used to from jNorthwestern. jNW and CM were tied at halftime 13-13 but Northwestern shut the Chippewas out in the 3rd quarter and took a 30-13 lead early in the 4th. Just like the Northwestern we've all grown to love, not only could they not deliver the kill shot but they let Central Michigan score 12 unanswered points to make it a game. Fortunately for jNW though, the Chippewas could not recover the onside kick. Dan Persa threw two touchdown passes for jNW while completing 23 of his 30 passes for 280 yards with one pick. The Wildcats gave up almost as many yards (423) as they gained(429). 
Toledo 31 - Purdue 20 
N Illinois 34 - Minnesota 23
Holy Toledo!! More like Jesus Christ Purdue. Toledo came into the game with the worst-ranked offense in the country yet you give up 378 yards? Pathetic. As for you Minnesota, well… the Fire Brewster chants have commenced in earnest.

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  1. "That sound you heard was 100,000 Michigan fans simultaneously shitting their pants on this play. Ann Arbor must smell like an outhouse today."

    Could that have been put any more perfectly? I think not... LMAO

  2. I'll second Mike's comments. Not to mention, I'm glad you continued the "Point and Laugh" category tradition. Well done, young grasshopper.

  3. @Tim: hey it's your baby I'm just filling in every now and then, I'll follow your lead.