Creepin' The Big Ten: Week 5

Look, I'm done with the Iowa game, okay? I'm moving the fuck on. I've read enough garbage on the message boards in the past 48 hours that have made me question why I follow a program with such a retarded, bi-polar, "doom and gloom" fan base. It also was a reason why I had ZERO motivation to provide any Monday morning insight with the rest of my LBU colleagues yesterday. Allow me to make one thing clear: The sky is NOT falling. Yes, this team is a work in progress and will give us our share of frustrating moments throughout the season, but if you seriously that we won't show any improvement between now and Michigan State and that 6-6 is the ceiling for this team, please give me your contact info so I can come over and push you off the fucking ledge myself.

With that being said: It's time for our weekly creepin' of the Big Ten.

(Photo: MLive.com)

NOT YOUR BROTHER'S SPARTY  
Michigan State 34, Wisconsin 24
Well, well, well, what do we have here? Looks like we got ourselves an MSU squad still unscathed after the first weekend of October for the first time since Nick Saban's final year at the helm (1999). Perhaps most impressive about this win for Sparty is that they had a -3 turnover differential (3 turnovers to none for Wisconsin) and yet despite that, still dominated the time of possession by 13 minutes and racked up 444 total yards to Wisky's 292. It probably helps as well, that offensive coordinator/acting head coach Don Treadwell's balls are just as big and brassy as Mark Dantonio's. With less than 3 minutes to go and sitting on a 27-24 lead, Treadwell eschewed the field goal on 4th and goal at Wisconsin's 3 yard line. The gamble of course, paid off as Kirk Cousin found BJ Cunningham in the back of the end zone for the game-sealing touchdown. Next up for Sparty, an interstate clash with their arch rivals from Ann Arbor.

Speaking of which...

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SET THE A.I. TO "JUNIOR VARSITY"
Michigan 42, Indiana 35 
These two teams staged together an epic shootout that resembled the best re-enactment of a video game since some Japanese dudes did an orchestrated version of Mike Tyson's Punch-Out.  Denard Robinson churned out yet another maestro-like performance, racking up 217 yards rushing and 277 yards passing for 5 total touchdowns, including  the game-winning TD with 21 seconds left in regulation and the game tied at 35. This marks the second time this year, that Robinson has pulled off 200+ yards in both categories. I don't care how crappy the defense have been thus far that Michigan has gone up against (and by the way, IU's defense is really crappy), that is downright impressive. He won't have such performances against the upper half of the Big Ten, but Robinson is a force to be reckoned with and when he's clicking, so is the Michigan offense.

Not to be completely outdone however, was Indiana QB Ben Chappell and his whopping 488 yards passing with a 45-to-64 accuracy. It's not exactly a surprise that Michigan's secondary is awful, given how depleted they are over there but to give up nearly 500 yards in the air is approaching whole new levels of suck. Even PSU's offense has to be licking their chops right now.

OMG! PANIC?
Ohio State 24, Illinois 13
OSU struggled with an Illini team that may be better than some of us are giving them credit for. New defensive coordinator Vic Koenning thus far, has proven to have been a shot in the arm for what had been a laughing stock of a defense the past couple of seasons. Granted, Illinois has no problem getting up for a home game against Ohio State. Whether they can show the same fire and passion on the road at Penn State next week remains to be seen.


THE OBLIGATORY "POINT AND LAUGH AT MINNESOTA" CATEGORY
Northwestern 29, Minnesota 28
Minnesota was hanging on to a 28-20 lead midway through the fourth quarter and in true Minny fashion, managed to blow it. "The Tim Brewster Farewell Tour" is officially underway and the tour bus will be making its first road stop in Madison, Wisconsin this Saturday to watch the Badgers retain Paul Bunyan's Axe.







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