Such an appropriate way to begin March Madness

Let's just hope this is just a big ol' coincidence, via Ben at Victory Bell Rings:

State College police are looking into a simple-assault and criminal-mischief incident that happened at 6:05 p.m. Saturday at the Cedarbrook apartment building... Police released six images from the scene... Saturday was the fifth annual unsanctioned State Patty’s Day drinking holiday in State College.

Currently there is speculation that there are several Penn State athletes involved in this altercation including Taran Buie, Curtis Drake and Tre Bowman.

Stupid. Kids.

Dear State Patty's Day: DIE, ALREADY.

It was Early 2007: George W. Bush was President, the iPhone had yet to hit the market (which meant that people had to actually socialize at parties), Penn State's basketball team was in the pre-Talor Battle era and wallowing in the depths of the Big Ten basement*, and Yours Truly was enjoying his final semester as a PSU student. The academic calendar that Spring semester, also had the unfortunate notoriety of being one in which St. Patrick's Day fell during PSU's Spring Break. Naturally, the students at the time were not about to be cheated out of the same green beer-soaked fun their predecessors enjoyed on March 17ths past and using their Facebook organization powers combined, began promoting "State Patty's Day."

SPD was held a couple of weekends before Spring Break that year, giving the non-townie** students the satisfaction of enjoying a State College-style March 17th celebration. Like any major alcohol-fueled occasion in State College, it brought upon itself a litany of citations and arrests for the usual drunken insubordination, which the local townsfolk and State College Five-O weren't too pleased about. However, this was only a one-time deal, being that March 17 would fall on the week after Spring Break the following year, as well as for the foreseeable future...or so the Germans would have us believe.

*Err, nevermind.

** 'Townie' is a nickname for PSU students who also grew up in State College. Yours Truly included.
After being pathetically kept intact for the past couple of years, I finally reached my boiling point after learning last Thursday that SPD is being revived for a fourth straight year and counting. Apparently, the current crop of students feel that it's not enough to be able to celebrate the real holiday when they'll all be back from Spring Break with their Jersey Shore-style tans. No, they have to continue to prop up this bullshit holiday that was initially created for a real purpose but nowadays, gives students another official excuse to get absolutely shit-faced, and pull off the typical shit-faced shenanigans (i.e. vandalism).

So I'll say this to you, the current PSU students: Grow a fucking pair, skip your classes on March 17, and wait in line at the Phyrst...just like the heavy majority of alums once did. Hell, I'm sure most of you skip classes already for even lamer reasons, so it won't hurt you to skip another one for a REAL holiday. The only thing you're doing by continuing to prop up this fake, two-bit, holiday is creating an unnecessary burden on local law enforcement and taxpayers.

And yes, get off my lawn.

Follow LBU on Facebook and Twitter. Subscribe to Linebacker-U.com by Email