January 16, 2010

Dear State Patty's Day: DIE, ALREADY.

It was Early 2007: George W. Bush was President, the iPhone had yet to hit the market (which meant that people had to actually socialize at parties), Penn State's basketball team was in the pre-Talor Battle era and wallowing in the depths of the Big Ten basement*, and Yours Truly was enjoying his final semester as a PSU student. The academic calendar that Spring semester, also had the unfortunate notoriety of being one in which St. Patrick's Day fell during PSU's Spring Break. Naturally, the students at the time were not about to be cheated out of the same green beer-soaked fun their predecessors enjoyed on March 17ths past and using their Facebook organization powers combined, began promoting "State Patty's Day."

SPD was held a couple of weekends before Spring Break that year, giving the non-townie** students the satisfaction of enjoying a State College-style March 17th celebration. Like any major alcohol-fueled occasion in State College, it brought upon itself a litany of citations and arrests for the usual drunken insubordination, which the local townsfolk and State College Five-O weren't too pleased about. However, this was only a one-time deal, being that March 17 would fall on the week after Spring Break the following year, as well as for the foreseeable future...or so the Germans would have us believe.

*Err, nevermind.

** 'Townie' is a nickname for PSU students who also grew up in State College. Yours Truly included.

After being pathetically kept intact for the past couple of years, I finally reached my boiling point after learning last Thursday that SPD is being revived for a fourth straight year and counting. Apparently, the current crop of students feel that it's not enough to be able to celebrate the real holiday when they'll all be back from Spring Break with their Jersey Shore-style tans. No, they have to continue to prop up this bullshit holiday that was initially created for a real purpose but nowadays, gives students another official excuse to get absolutely shit-faced, and pull off the typical shit-faced shenanigans (i.e. vandalism).

So I'll say this to you, the current PSU students: Grow a fucking pair, skip your classes on March 17, and wait in line at the Phyrst...just like the heavy majority of alums once did. Hell, I'm sure most of you skip classes already for even lamer reasons, so it won't hurt you to skip another one for a REAL holiday. The only thing you're doing by continuing to prop up this fake, two-bit, holiday is creating an unnecessary burden on local law enforcement and taxpayers.

And yes, get off my lawn.

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13 comments:

  1. Nobody gives a shit about St. Paddy's day, though. State Paddy's day IS St. Paddy's Day, and without the having to miss classes angle. I don't see the problem.

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  2. Devon, when I was an undergrad, students gave plenty of shits about the REAL St. Patty's Day, and since when did students start giving a shit about how many classes they missed? This is just another B.S. reasons to prop up SPD like "Weekend at Bernie's"

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  3. As a student (class of 2005, so not THAT old), I had my fair share of drunken debauchery and paid the consequences...however, this just takes it to a whole new level. I understood the purpose when it was invented...but the fact that it's a "tradition" now and keeps on going when the original purpose doesn't exist makes it just patently silly. It's basically a lot of arrogant self-entitled students telling the town "We don't give a rat's ass about your town, we're gonna get shit faced and you're going to have to clean it up...deal with it". How is this productive? Seriously...how does this help PSU, the students, and State College? Nobody has yet to give me a concrete answer aside from "It helps the bars" (and yes, it does, but at a much greater cost to the town)

    Devon, the problem with your statement is that people will skip classes on St. Patrick's day anyway to get plastered IN ADDITION to doing it on State Patty's Day. If students didn't do anything on the real St. Patrick's day, then yes, your statement would make logical sense. However, the last few St. Patrick's Days have been just as well attended and drunk filled as before State Patty's Day existed (in direct contradiction to your statement that "nobody gives a shit about St. Patty's day"). To me (and a lot of alums, students, townies, disinterested observers) State Patty's Day is just an excuse by coddled self-indulgent and spoiled kids to find another day in which to get blasted and feel no consequences. Sorta goes against the "May no act of ours bring shame" part of the Alma Mater to me...but then again, most students don't know the Goddamned words anyway.

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  4. @Matt... couldn't agree more. I wasn't there for the first State Patty's Day--I'm class of '06--and your argument hits the nail squarely on the head. It's really a shame that the student body has been reduced to such a sham. And if you are the kind of person who likes the idea of State Patty's Day, then having it on an annual basis actually diminishes what could have been a really cool tradition. Had the students declared that State Patty's Day could only occur in the years when spring break falls on St. Patrick's Day--its original purpose--it would have been an interesting tradition, Penn State's "Leap Year," if you will.

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  5. @Matt: DING! DING! DING! Tell him what he's won, Johnny!

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  6. like psu kids need another excuse to drink. this started as a decent idea, and like most things at psu, was taken to far (see "zombie nation", and "seven nation army" cheers)

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  7. join the opposition to State Patty's Day at http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=252076644511

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  8. get over yourselvesss STATE patty's day lives on!!! no matter how much you guys bicker on this dumbass site. we'll continue drinking. for whatever reason we want to. because we're young. and we want to. so get over it. penn state students aren't changing.. you went here, you should probably know this.. i apologize for any vandalism that occurs to you personally, but i doubt any of this really affects you as you probably don't live downtown. so stop mouthing for no reason. 4 years and going!!!

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  9. ...and people wonder why our nation was brought to the brink?

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  10. Emily, we'll get over it when you learn how to complete a sentence.

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  11. Come on guys, it's not cool to make fun of the mentally challenged...

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  12. I am a townie, n I WAS all for the first made up holiday, but now four years later, I'm completely disgusted w all of our fine PSU students. The lack if respect u all show for my town is appalling. Did u all forget the manners ur good parents gave u. How would u like it if I got a few thousand of my friends came to your town n trashed it. U all are immature and ungrateful. I hope to god your $40,000 education gets u all a job and out of my town. U all will understand one day..... just check out the utube video of the downtown McDonald's

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  13. @ Emily u r a complete tool. Seriously ur sorry for any of the vandalism that happens. Let me come to your house/ apt and piss n shit and vomit all over it then throw all my trash in your yard. Oops I'm sorry it just cause I'm young n in college. No excuse. I can see u forgot everything ur parents taught u.

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